Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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