glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
