alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize