i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just found a bag of teeth...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
