I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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