Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well you can't waste a boner
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
