Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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