I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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