Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
