like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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