Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He told me they were just razor bumps!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love you. Go after that dick
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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