Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
