Say something about gay babies.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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