I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
