i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
