the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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