And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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