i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
