You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
