She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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