You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had to coat check the pizza.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
