I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
