My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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