I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need a beard to bite.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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