so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
