let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
