i will never coherently bang her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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