i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
