Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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