why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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