How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
