Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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