My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
someone owes me an orgasm
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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