He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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