kristin has been a bad kristin
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
