yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
