HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
