It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
