i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
