Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I stole a fireplace last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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