i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
