So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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