I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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