Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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(908): Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit? (617) Remember that time you hooked up with him? http://tfl.nu/yz0c

Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (1500)
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(850): View more from Florida

JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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(850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk. http://tfl.nu/brrf

Replies (12) Good night (4411) Bad night (907)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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(520): I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless. http://tfl.nu/n39p

Replies (36) Good night (1169) Bad night (3020)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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(301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo

Replies (15) Good night (4499) Bad night (676)
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(817): View more from Texas

so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

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(817): so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring. http://tfl.nu/hdeg

Replies (30) Good night (6084) Bad night (1176)
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(936): View more from Texas

you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

(1-936): View more from Texas

I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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(936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15

Replies (19) Good night (10256) Bad night (1048)
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(360): View more from Washington

I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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(360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6

Replies (16) Good night (2246) Bad night (3441)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.

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(319): I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer. http://tfl.nu/5cv0

Replies (2) Good night (2297) Bad night (916)
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(954): View more from Florida

oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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(954): oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied? http://tfl.nu/xnft

Replies (22) Good night (2002) Bad night (1905)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?

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(781): Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it? http://tfl.nu/aevy

Replies (10) Good night (1493) Bad night (691)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.

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(517): Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up. http://tfl.nu/ansq

Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (347)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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(775): You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood. http://tfl.nu/925d

Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (393)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.

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(623): Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime. http://tfl.nu/nfvc

Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (362)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.

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(973): I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle. http://tfl.nu/vrfi

Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (375)
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(716): View more from New York

I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.

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(716): I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year. http://tfl.nu/v14k

Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (244)

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