Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

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  (810): none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem http://tfl.nu/6j6s
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (1395)
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  (661): View more from California

  So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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  (661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick" http://tfl.nu/zy8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1337) Bad night (469)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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  (205): it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!" http://tfl.nu/6ypb
  Replies (14) Good night (2347) Bad night (647)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (1915) Bad night (1095)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.

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  (503): I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks. http://tfl.nu/i5e8
  Replies (23) Good night (1019) Bad night (5551)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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  (904): she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room... http://tfl.nu/wehm
  Replies (8) Good night (3128) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (720)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good

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  (701): it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good http://tfl.nu/dzm0
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (727)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy

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  (717): That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy http://tfl.nu/ttbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1148) Bad night (422)
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  (916): View more from California

  Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.

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  (916): Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice. http://tfl.nu/f46v
  Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (427)
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  (559): View more from California

  so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"

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  (559): so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?" http://tfl.nu/cy8a
  Replies (5) Good night (1188) Bad night (320)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??

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  (505): Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again?? http://tfl.nu/9q8l
  Replies (2) Good night (1078) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need Jameson.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.

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  (540): I need Jameson. (240): Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot. http://tfl.nu/qo8a
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (388)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.

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  (860): Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's. http://tfl.nu/hm4e
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (147)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.

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  (425): I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry. http://tfl.nu/g914
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (170)

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