I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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