Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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  (203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (1670)
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  (415): View more from California

  there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping

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  (415): there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping http://tfl.nu/vx2g
  Replies (27) Good night (2789) Bad night (849)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.

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  (912): if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste. http://tfl.nu/c4ff
  Replies (9) Good night (3217) Bad night (693)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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  (352): Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose? http://tfl.nu/yztp
  Replies (23) Good night (4745) Bad night (773)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4837) Bad night (1167)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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  (815): I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed? http://tfl.nu/umcp
  Replies (13) Good night (4046) Bad night (1444)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

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  (402): Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/4vu7
  Replies (16) Good night (2515) Bad night (807)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?

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  (812): i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF? http://tfl.nu/2o7d
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (1263)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

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  (910): I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT! http://tfl.nu/3dqj
  Replies (9) Good night (1640) Bad night (603)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.

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  (304): Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE. http://tfl.nu/c4re
  Replies (6) Good night (1822) Bad night (593)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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  (617): I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went? http://tfl.nu/d06s
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (1004)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (410)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there in a few.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'M COUNTING TO FEW.

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  (814): I'll be there in a few. (717): I'M COUNTING TO FEW. http://tfl.nu/nvfq
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (361)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.

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  (262): In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise. http://tfl.nu/9a8z
  Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (519)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again

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  (202): I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again http://tfl.nu/wlsy
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (557)

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