Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What? You're not speaking real words.

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  (423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go
  Replies (30) Good night (1101) Bad night (2782)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2681) Bad night (623)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4.

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  (443): How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner? (402): 4. http://tfl.nu/fuje
  Replies (15) Good night (3366) Bad night (753)
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  (661): View more from California

  seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome

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  (661): seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome http://tfl.nu/g749
  Replies (19) Good night (749) Bad night (3142)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  consequently i now know what mace tastes like

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  (402): consequently i now know what mace tastes like http://tfl.nu/a9b7
  Replies (11) Good night (1841) Bad night (6056)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (856) Bad night (5869)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5524) Bad night (1903)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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  (608): you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?" http://tfl.nu/0sa8
  Replies (19) Good night (10974) Bad night (1406)
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  (916): View more from California

  It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.

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  (916): It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her. http://tfl.nu/zc22
  Replies (25) Good night (1355) Bad night (4856)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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  (812): and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out http://tfl.nu/6hen
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (693)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on

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  (775): Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on http://tfl.nu/ndqt
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

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  (412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.

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  (+44): She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn. http://tfl.nu/qwtm
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.

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  (870): Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage. http://tfl.nu/n65p
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (392)

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