sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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