New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They have beer where we have blood.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
