Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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