Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
