nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
