Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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