I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
