here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
