If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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