One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
