literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
