yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Come see our sink grown plant.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
