I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
