I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
