onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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