Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize