Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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